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FQ-NS: Looking to Revise my Essay


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#21 future_aviator

future_aviator

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Posted 14 May 2019 - 20:16

Notice:  Disregard this post.  I have since completely scraped this essay and did another one.  My new essay has already been sent to the board, so there is no point in making revisions now.   
 
 
Thanks.  


Good luck
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#22 SwissK31

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Posted 17 May 2019 - 09:30

Selected in the May Board.  Here is my revised essay: (Please do not copy mine, I'm including it so I can show how to make improvements.) 

 

            “Army Warrant Officers shall… Contribute their past experiences, service, and knowledge to a dedicated effort for a betterment of the future.” I intend to fulfill this value from the Warrant Officer Code.  I strive to become an Army Aviator so I can contribute my leadership experience, passion, and my technical knowledge.

            Becoming an Army Aviator means more to me than just flying an aircraft.  I have been inspired by friends and family who have served in aviation.  It started with my grandfather who was a flight engineer during Vietnam, and one of many servicemen in my family.  His experiences inspired me as a kid.  I didn’t know about the Army W.O.F.T. program until I befriended an active duty MH-60 pilot.  After expressing my interests in aviation, Mr. Cortez encouraged me to put together a packet.  He and several other Army Aviators have been mentors, and have ignited a passion in me. 

            Furthermore, I want to use the leadership experience I have attained through Boy Scouts and volunteer service.  While I was a scout, I had leadership roles within my Troop.  I led community service, hiking trips, etc.  Those leadership roles taught me time management and social skills, and enforced the Boy Scout motto: “Be prepared.”  Also, to become a state scholar, I led 80 hours of volunteer service in high school working with TN Walking Horses.  I was a leader responsible for teaching kids how to care for and ride the horses properly.

            Finally, I want to become an Army Aviator to use the technical skills I have already developed.  One factor that sets me apart from most applicants is that I possess a combination of hands-on and academic experience. After working in the automotive field for almost two years, I have gained experience in diagnosing mechanical issues and general problem-solving.  Academically, I have a considerable amount of S.T.E.M. education.  During physics labs, I worked with aeronautical theories that translate to rotary-wing concepts.  Moreover, I have recently acquired five rotary-wing flight hours, which improved hand-eye coordination and provided basic flight skills.

            In conclusion, I am confident that my technical skills, leadership qualities, and drive will allow me to excel in flight training and become a skillful Army Aviator. 


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#23 Abazi21

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Posted 18 May 2019 - 10:11

Glad to hear you were selected SwissK31. Good luck in the future.
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