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FQ-NS: Packet Improvement


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Hello everyone, I applied for the May 2019 Board and was deemed FQ-NS. Though the news was disappointing, it only shows that I have much room to grow and prove that I meet the standards of the Army Warrant Officer Corps. Like many others that have been passed on their first looks I would like some advice on how to improve my packet and increase my chances of selection. I have listed my stats and essay below, anyone feel free to comment on what could use some improvement. I am determined to be selected this next board and will do anything in my power to make sure it becomes a reality.

 

Civilian Applicant

Age: 22

Education: B.A in Economics 2.7 GPA

AFQT/GT: 97/134

SIFT: 55

APFT: 290

Flight: 0

Flight Physical: Stamped

LOR: SCANG CW4, CW2 (Retired), Civilian Boss

Sidenote: Congratulations to all that were selected May 2019. I am sure you will all make amazing pilots.

Why I want to be an Army Aviator

Growing up as a second-generation immigrant, I have always respected the hard work of those that serve our country. The opportunity to prosper as a citizen is only possible through the armed services that keep our nation safe. This is where my passion to serve stems from and providing others the same privileges given to me would be an honor. Being selected into Warrant Officer Flight Training would allow me to unite my love for aviation, with my love for country.

 

Throughout my time interning with the Columbia Police Department, I have learned much about operating within a structured organization. During my internship, I worked with many investigators ranging from the Violent Crimes Unit to the Special Victims Unit. Gathering information through video surveillance, biometric identification, and field interviews I assisted investigators in building cases to make sure the correct suspect was convicted. Through great mentorship within the department, I have learned that meticulous preparation and attention to detail are both critical components of success. I believe these lessons will translate well into a career in Army Aviation.

 

Being appointed as the Head Lifeguard at my university was both rewarding and demanding. The transition from simply being a lifeguard to overseeing a staff of over 70 employees brought on many new challenges. One of the biggest obstacles I overcame was improving the work ethic of the staff. By assisting my coworkers when needed while diligently completing my own tasks, I created a much more effective work environment and established myself as a competent leader that others could both emulate and rely on. Learning from my experiences, I plan to continue refining my leadership skills and apply them as a Warrant Officer.

 

I fully understand being a Warrant Officer and staying a technical expert in your field requires an immense amount of focus and constant adaptation. Being prepared and making the correct decisions under pressure is the essence of being an Army Aviator and I am confident that I match the requirements and aptitude required of both a Warrant Officer and aviator. I am fully prepared to take on the responsibilities of a Warrant Officer, lead by example, and serve my country.

Respectfully,

Charlie N.

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Blows my mind that you weren't selected! your stats are solid and nothing can be done about GPA and SIFT. Besides getting a 300 APFT not much to improve. I'd look into the LORs. Maybe getting a letter from someone with a little more weight than a CW2? Maybe a higher up in the Police Department you volunteered at.

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Why I want to be an Army Aviator

Growing up as a second-generation immigrant, I have always respected the hard work of those that serve our country. The opportunity to prosper as a citizen is only possible through the armed services that keep our nation safe. This is where my passion to serve stems from and providing others the same privileges given to me would be an honor. Being selected into Warrant Officer Flight Training would allow me to unite my love for aviation, with my love for country.

 

Throughout my time interning with the Columbia Police Department, I have learned much about operating within a structured organization. [<-- HOW?] During my internship, I worked with many investigators ranging from the Violent Crimes Unit to the Special Victims Unit.[expound upon this] Gathering information through video surveillance, biometric identification, and field interviews I assisted investigators in building cases to make sure the correct suspect was convicted [how many? Quantify your achievements]. Through great mentorship within the department, I have learned that meticulous preparation and attention to detail are both critical components of success [how have you applied this lesson?]. I believe [you dont believe, you KNOW they will] these lessons will translate well into a career in Army Aviation.

 

Being appointed as the Head Lifeguard at my university was both rewarding and demanding [how were you selected? was it competitive? Talk about how you were selected out of XX candidates]. The transition from simply being a lifeguard to overseeing a staff of over 70 employees brought on many new challenges. [what were those challenges? how did you overcome them?] One of the biggest obstacles I overcame was improving the work ethic of the staff. By assisting my coworkers when needed while diligently completing my own tasks, I created a much more effective work environment and established myself as a competent leader that others could both emulate and rely on [This needs rewording] . Learning from my experiences, I plan to continue refining my leadership skills and apply them as a Warrant Officer [Warrant Officers already need the leadership skills, if anything you should be FURTHER refining the leadership qualities you already have, explain what those are].

 

I fully understand being a Warrant Officer and staying a technical expert in your field requires an immense amount of focus and constant adaptation[tie this back in with your background in the Police Department]. Being prepared and making the correct decisions under pressure is the essence of being an Army Aviator and I am confident that I match the requirements and aptitude required of both a Warrant Officer and aviator [Dont be confident, know you match the requirements as your essay should support this]. I am fully prepared to take on the responsibilities of a Warrant Officer, lead by example, and serve my country.

Respectfully,

Charlie N.

 

Not to nit pick, but your essay is what needs revision. Too much of a passive voice.

 

I've bolded/underlined what I think can use work and I've inputted my thoughts after. Remember you need to go into details as to how your experience makes you a good leader, the devil is in the details. Especially that part about how you supervised over 70 employees. DETAILS!! As a civilian applicant you need to capitalize on all of your achievements.

 

Hope this gives you some guidance

 

-Richie

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I'm beginning to think that with younger applicants, they may want to see how persistent you are.

 

Like do you care enough to improve where possible. Just a guess though. Older folks have a greater variety of experience (work, school, life experience, etc...) in their package.

 

You're also not remotely close to the age cutoff so there is no "rush" to select them. These are just guesses though.

 

Would be interesting to see age and gender stats for the past year or so.

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Not to nit pick, but your essay is what needs revision. Too much of a passive voice.

 

I've bolded/underlined what I think can use work and I've inputted my thoughts after. Remember you need to go into details as to how your experience makes you a good leader, the devil is in the details. Especially that part about how you supervised over 70 employees. DETAILS!! As a civilian applicant you need to capitalize on all of your achievements.

 

Hope this gives you some guidance

 

-Richie

 

 

Thank you so much for the revisions, I understand now that I did use a little too much passion and not enough evidence in my essay. My original essay was much more detailed, but I had to condense it for the sake of the handwritten essay that was not even required. I will take all of your revisions and update my essay soon.

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Not sure where you are located, but try getting on google and search for Helicopter flight schools.

 

I found a local flight school and gave them a call. Luckily I live near FT. Hood so it made the conversation easier. I explained the process that I was in and went down there and did a discovery flight in the R22 and logged my first hour. My instructor was an ex SH-60 Pilot, so I ended up flying the majority of the flight.

I have spoken with them since and have four more flights planned in the R44. What I am getting at is try to turn that 0 for flight time into at least something. It can't hurt you. Only help!

 

Maybe try reaching out on here and find someone willing to interview you for another LOR.

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