Rogue Posted April 28, 2009 Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 I think I've heard every helicopter joke written while hanging out in Choppertown at Sun-n-Fun the past week. I wanted to share one of my favorites and hear ya'lls as well. So here goes - What's the difference between helicopter pilots and fixed wing pilots? Fixed wing pilots have an intense interest in aviation.... .... they are just afraid to try it ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggbeater Posted April 28, 2009 Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 Here's a link to an old thread discussing the same thing. A lot of good ones on there. Helicopter sayings My favorite: A helicopter pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and flying when he's with women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
67november Posted April 28, 2009 Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 this on is also full of aviation jokes http://helicopterforum.verticalreference.c...?showtopic=3819 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Posted April 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 meh, too much aiplane stuff in those links An interested attendee of an airshow asks a rotary wing pilot "what kind of fuel mileage does that get?" "well..... i get 6 on the highway, 3 in the city and when I'm hovering I'm screwed! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Posted April 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 My favorite: A helicopter pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and flying when he's with women. hahahahaa, the funniest things are true !!! hey girls is that true for ya'll too? do you think about women also !!! hahahaaaaa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Posted April 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2009 I can't believe I'm the only one that knows any helicopter jokes! A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said 'WHERE AM I?' in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.' The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how the 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER' sign helped determine their position. The pilot responded 'I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct, but completely useless answer.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Posted April 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2009 Jim and his wife Ellen went to the state fair every year, and every year Jim would say, "Ellen, I'd like to ride in that helicopter". Ellen always replied, "I know Jim, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars". One year Ellen and Jim went to the fair, and Jim said, "Ellen, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance." Ellen replied, "Jim that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars". The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's 50 dollars." Jim and Ellen agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Jim and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!" Jim replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Ellen fell out, but you know -- 50 dollars is 50 dollars." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heli.pilot Posted April 29, 2009 Report Share Posted April 29, 2009 Jim and his wife Ellen went to the state fair every year, and every year Jim would say, "Ellen, I'd like to ride in that helicopter". Ellen always replied, "I know Jim, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars". One year Ellen and Jim went to the fair, and Jim said, "Ellen, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance." Ellen replied, "Jim that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars". The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's 50 dollars." Jim and Ellen agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Jim and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!" Jim replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Ellen fell out, but you know -- 50 dollars is 50 dollars."Now THAT'S funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tawler Posted April 29, 2009 Report Share Posted April 29, 2009 Hahahaha ...those last 2 were great . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Posted April 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 Jean Claude Pierre the world's greatest helicopter pilot stops in at a local watering hole while in town to look for a date. In his thick French accent he proclaims "I am Jean Claude Pierre the world's greatest helicopter pilot! " so of course all the women come running. After choosing his date for the night and persuading her into coming back to his hotel they begin to fool around. He begins by rubbing champagne on her lips "Ooooooh.... Jean Claude.... what are you doing to me?" "I am Jean Claude Pierre the world's greatest helicopter pilot and I want to warm you up to me so that we may make mad passionate love" He then deblouses her and proceeds to rub her chest with brandy - " Ooooooh.... Jean Claude.... what are you doing to me ?" "I am Jean Claude Pierre the world's greatest helicopter pilot and I want to warm you up to me so that we may make mad passionate love" He then proceeds to remove the rest of her clothing, pours some whiskey on her nether region and lights in on fire " Ooooooh.... Jean Claude.... WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME ?" "I am Jean Claude Pierre the world's greatest helicopter pilot! and when I go down I GO DOWN IN FLAMES !!! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharyouTree Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 Jean Claude Pierre the world's greatest helicopter pilot stops in at a local watering hole while in town to look for a date. In his thick French accent he proclaims "I am Jean Claude Pierre the world's greatest helicopter pilot! " so of course all the women come running. After choosing his date for the night and persuading her into coming back to his hotel they begin to fool around. He begins by rubbing champagne on her lips "Ooooooh.... Jean Claude.... what are you doing to me?" "I am Jean Claude Pierre the world's greatest helicopter pilot and I want to warm you up to me so that we may make mad passionate love" He then deblouses her and proceeds to rub her chest with brandy - " Ooooooh.... Jean Claude.... what are you doing to me ?" "I am Jean Claude Pierre the world's greatest helicopter pilot and I want to warm you up to me so that we may make mad passionate love" He then proceeds to remove the rest of her clothing, pours some whiskey on her nether region and lights in on fire " Ooooooh.... Jean Claude.... WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME ?" "I am Jean Claude Pierre the world's greatest helicopter pilot! and when I go down I GO DOWN IN FLAMES !!! " When I went through Basic Training, one of the guys in reception battalion told that joke (with the caveat that Jean Claude was a fighter pilot in his story). Many of us ended up in the same platoon, and SPC Britton (Forgive me for spelling...) was known as Pierre throughout the rest of training. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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