Trans Lift Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 (edited) Chuck Norris doesn’t request clearances, he states intentions. Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37. Hijackers squawk 7500 when Chuck Norris is on board Chuck Norris once shot down three enemy aircraft with his aux fuel tank. Chuck Norris has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never dareget cross with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn’t fly into headwinds…the wind is always running awayfrom Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Chuck Norris isnever under pressure. Right of Way rules do not apply when Chuck Norris is flying. If you areflying toward Chuck Norris, you are wrong. Chuck Norris doesn’t shoot approaches…he kills them. Chuck Norris is never off of glideslope, the glideslope is off of ChuckNorris Two way contact for Chuck Norris is when he hits you with both fistssimultaneously Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier with his Bell X-1 Jet. Chuck Norrisbroke the sound barrier with his fist. Chuck Norris was told to ident, the controller was greeted with a fistcoming out of his radar screen. Chuck Norris doesn’t level off; he tells the altimeter to stop moving Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance… once Chuck Norris was flying and saw a wall of clouds ahead so he decided topunch through them. He then got back in his helicopter and flew through thehole he just made. Chuck Norris doesn’t have emergencies, only moments of brief excitement. Chuck Norris cannot be tracked on radar, if he appears, it is too late; youare already dead. A good flight for Chuck Norris is a bad flight for you. A Flight Docs gives med up chits, Chuck Norris gives med down kicks. Chuck Norris once moved a stationary front. All survival vests will be fitted with a Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris isn’t holding, he is circling above his victims. Chuck Norris provides close air support via flying round house kicks. No one knows what Chuck Norris’ tail number is, nobody has ever gotten thatclose. Edited February 18, 2011 by Trans Lift 1 Quote
RtrCFI Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Freaking LOVE it. Copy. Paste. Foreward. Quote
AngelFire_91 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 I printed this out and posted it in our dispatch area. Love it!! Thanks! Quote
Gunner Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Yep... This is going up in the Ready Room... Quote
Auto-Rotation-Nation Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Chuck Norris never once has flared for a landing, the ground flares for him. Chuck Norris is a CFI... for beginner R22's The FARs read Chuck Norris In the event of an in-flight engine failure while flying with Chuck Norris, the helicopter will sprout wings and fly Chuck Norris' first helicopter was a Cessna 172 Chuck Norris Slung Christmas trees for an entire day... then he found out you were supposed to use your helicopter and found it to be boring Chuck Norris tried cutting Christmas trees for an entire day... then he found out you were not supposed to use your helicopter and found it to be boring ***END*** Let me know what you think, just kind of pulled them out of my hat in about 10mins. Quote
wannabe87 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 HAHA!!!! That is awesome! Post more!! Quote
C of G Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Trans Lift: That was damn funny. Thanks... Quote
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