eagle5 Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 #1 I have to reposition my R44 in Maine down to Florida for some contract work. My CFI will be doing the flight, but since I have to pay him $20/hr I won't be making any money on this flight! So, I'm looking for a pilot, who thinks that R44 time is really valuable, especially hours and hours of straight and level in one. You will have the privilege of paying me, but I'll only charge $250/hr (what a great deal right!) and you will also have to pay for your airfare to and from,...but, maybe my CFI will go halvzies on a hotel room? This is a great, once in a lifetime deal!,...and since you'll be flying with a CFI in the world renowned R44, he can teach you all the wonders of straight and level flight while you sit there with your thumb up you ass watching the hobbs turn over while I empty your wallet! #2After my contract work is done, I've decided to start an aerial photo business. However, professional photographers are just too expensive, so I thought, why not just bring in another low time pilot to do all the flying while my CFI takes the pictures! (that way both of you can log PIC time, even though one of you is just taking pictures, isn't that awesome!) You will of course have to pay me at first,(but this time I'll only charge you $200/hr) for,...lets say,...100hrs. Will call that your internship, you know,...cause photo flights are really hard to master! Afterwards, I'll start paying you $20/hr (only on the hobbs of course) when/if I get more business, plus I guarantee I'll keep you on for at least another 100hrs (if you're a 300hr pilot this will get you to 500hrs, which will make you extremely valuable to employers!). These are great opportunities, folks! Pay me for some very valuable, and highly sought after experience (straight and level, and photos)!,...things no other low-timers can possibly dream of getting paid to do!!!!!!!!! Hurry now! Because the longer you wait, the less profit I make! (555) 867-5309 - ask for Douchebag Double Dipper ,...sucker! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flying Pig Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 If it was CA -> FL and you were paying ME, Id have been all over it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindsey Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 Coffee just came out my nose. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avbug Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 This is a great, once in a lifetime deal!,...and since you'll be flying with a CFI in the world renowned R44, he can teach you all the wonders of straight and level flight while you sit there with your thumb up you ass watching the hobbs turn over while I empty your wallet! Naw...I don't think so. Make it an ATP instead of a lowly CFI, and now you've got something. Throw in a tee shirt, and now you've got a deal nobody could pass up. But wait, there's more. For the first five suckers that respond, there's not one, but two tattoos that you get to have emblazoned on your person in a location of your choosing, below the neck but above the waist, limited to the left side of the body, between the left elbow and shoulder on the outermost side. These require an additional charge, but will include the privilege of the inscribed to wear the company logo in his or her skin without fear of recrimination or prosecution for misuse of copyrighted material. Call now, and receive a genuine 10-32 screw, all stainless, found on the ramp under the helicopter. This authentic piece of hardware has seen countless hours and trips around traffic patterns and has cheated death more times than Don King at a boxing match. This historic artifact comes boxed in a matching plastic sleeve with a sandwich bag grade sealable top, also found on the ramp under the aircraft, to preserve your piece of aviation heritage. Hurry and call. Operators, if not busy painting their nails or playing footsie in the breakroom, are standing by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightsta1ker Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 I just won the lotto, and am too incompetent to get a job at my flight school. Where do I sign??? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superstallion6113 Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 Is it an R44 Mariner? We all know Mariner time is so much more valuable and takes the extra 100 hrs to learn because the complexity of the H2O Rejectors mounted on the skids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjsemperfi Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 Haha! Oh boy!! Straight and Level, my favorite!!! Sign me up, then drill two holes in my dick so peeing becomes really interesting!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilot#476398 Posted September 28, 2012 Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 Is it an R44 Mariner? We all know Mariner time is so much more valuable and takes the extra 100 hrs to learn because the complexity of the H2O Rejectors mounted on the skids. Actually the Mariner is the R22. The R44 with the "H20 Rejectors" (good one by the way) is a Clipper! My guess is that, that one takes about 150hrs to "master", but I'm sure its worth it, because we all know how valuable R44 time is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superstallion6113 Posted September 28, 2012 Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 Actually the Mariner is the R22. The R44 with the "H20 Rejectors" (good one by the way) is a Clipper! My guess is that, that one takes about 150hrs to "master", but I'm sure its worth it, because we all know how valuable R44 time is! Haha, I've flown the Clipper II about 10 - 15 hrs, as my school has one, but I thought they made a fixed float 44 and called it a Mariner as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilot#476398 Posted September 28, 2012 Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 Haha, I've flown the Clipper II about 10 - 15 hrs, as my school has one, but I thought they made a fixed float 44 and called it a Mariner as well. I'm pretty sure the fixed-float 44 is still called a clipper? Popout-floats! I forgot about those, that adds another 50hrs to your training!,...sorry, but that's my insurance,... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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