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Francis Meyrick

I dare you - to tell us about a most embarrassing moment...!

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Oh. So I’m a chicken, eh? I’ve been called worse. (early, for one)

 

There goes the neighborhood. And my reputation. For what it’s worth. Which, admittedly, is not-a-lot. Especially ( I whisper this) after that horrendous gay bar fracas in San Francisco. ( :wub: Here's that link.)

 

Um. I’ll admit… I always thought it was better to be a LIVE CHICKEN than a DEAD DUCK.

That’s what I faithfully taught all my many fixed wing and heli-whopper students over all those years. I’m sure somebody half smart

(Yoo-hoo! Anybody here? No? I didn’t think so…)

...could extrapolate a Freudian Angst precursor from that statement. But I say it has kept me alive over 44 years of Aviation. And, to my knowledge, all my former students. Nobody hurt. So, okay, I’m a chicken. But a live, pecking, shitting, clucking, bug chasing honest-to-goodness, working class chicken. Spreading the chicken pooh. And if only that f@#k’n Peking Duck would quit chasing me around trying to roger me (dirty beast), life would be idyllic.

I don’t know if you know, but in my 87th incarnation, I think it was, I came back as a happy-go-lucky Penguin. In Antarctica. Yeah, I know, I’d have looked funny being a sour-faced Hobo penguin pushing a stolen shopping trolley through downtown Manhattan. Smoking a stogey. But it wasn’t too bad an experience, really. Until that nutcase head-slapper turned up. The full story is described here.

 

Also, better a chicken than a GOOSE. Ever been up against a truly Mad Goose?

(No, sorry, your EX mother-in-law doesn’t count).

Your comment was a welcome subversive stimulus

(Psst!....there are those here who will not be pleased with you)

...to go and finish a story about a goose. A loose goose. A PSYCHOTIC loose goose. Rescued by my (Scottish) wifey of 24 years. Who is on record as saying I should be grateful for the massive feed bills and the vet’s bills for her 53 rescued animals. (FIFTY-THREE). Because, in her words, if she didn’t have a weakness for rescuing sick animals, and nursing them back to health, she would never have married ME.

 

Duh. Eh, what?? (Oh, and it’s a “work-in-progress”, she says) :rolleyes:

 

So if you want to waste some more valuable time drinking Moonshine with us forum riff-raff, and outcasts from polite Vertical society, the Moggy Untouchables, and further rot your brain with a (99% true) scribble about (Scottish accent) “a PSYCHOTIC loose goose aboot the hoose”, then read on.

 

You damn Turkey.

 

Here’s the link.

 

Humbly and subversively yours,

 

Moggy

Edited by Francis Meyrick
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The Moggy Immortals ?

Just call me Lucy Goosey.

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Oh. So I’m a chicken, eh? I’ve been called worse. (early, for one)

 

There goes the neighborhood. And my reputation. For what it’s worth. Which, admittedly, is not-a-lot. Especially ( I whisper this) after that horrendous gay bar fracas in San Francisco. ( :wub: Here's that link.)

 

Um. I’ll admit… I always thought it was better to be a LIVE CHICKEN than a DEAD DUCK.

That’s what I faithfully taught all my many fixed wing and heli-whopper students over all those years. I’m sure somebody half smart

(Yoo-hoo! Anybody here? No? I didn’t think so…)

...could extrapolate a Freudian Angst precursor from that statement. But I say it has kept me alive over 44 years of Aviation. And, to my knowledge, all my former students. Nobody hurt. So, okay, I’m a chicken. But a live, pecking, shitting, clucking, bug chasing honest-to-goodness, working class chicken. Spreading the chicken pooh. And if only that f@#k’n Peking Duck would quit chasing me around trying to roger me (dirty beast), life would be idyllic.

I don’t know if you know, but in my 87th incarnation, I think it was, I came back as a happy-go-lucky Penguin. In Antarctica. Yeah, I know, I’d have looked funny being a sour-faced Hobo penguin pushing a stolen shopping trolley through downtown Manhattan. Smoking a stogey. But it wasn’t too bad an experience, really. Until that nutcase head-slapper turned up. The full story is described here.

 

Also, better a chicken than a GOOSE. Ever been up against a truly Mad Goose?

(No, sorry, your EX mother-in-law doesn’t count).

Your comment was a welcome subversive stimulus

(Psst!....there are those here who will not be pleased with you)

...to go and finish a story about a goose. A loose goose. A PSYCHOTIC loose goose. Rescued by my (Scottish) wifey of 24 years. Who is on record as saying I should be grateful for the massive feed bills and the vet’s bills for her 53 rescued animals. (FIFTY-THREE). Because, in her words, if she didn’t have a weakness for rescuing sick animals, and nursing them back to health, she would never have married ME.

 

Duh. Eh, what?? (Oh, and it’s a “work-in-progress”, she says) :rolleyes:

 

So if you want to waste some more valuable time drinking Moonshine with us forum riff-raff, and outcasts from polite Vertical society, the Moggy Untouchables, and further rot your brain with a (99% true) scribble about (Scottish accent) “a PSYCHOTIC loose goose aboot the hoose”, then read on.

 

You damn Turkey.

 

Here’s the link.

 

Humbly and subversively yours,

 

Moggy

Damned funny stuff Francis. Who owns the publishing rights. You could make a million.

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Damned funny stuff Francis. Who owns the publishing rights. You could make a million.

Nah. Then I'd have to take stuff serious, and that would spoil the fun, and would fly contrary to my base (non-violent) Arachnid, sorry, ANARCHIST, anti-authoritarian tendencies.

Anyway, who would pay money to listen to me? No chance. Now, if I offered to take money in exchange for me SHUTTING UP, now THERE.... I could make some dosh!

 

(watch 'em second that...)

 

:D

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Some of you So Cal pilots know the cranky controller at Whiteman I'm sure! After flying tours out of there for 7 months, he recognized my voice, as did i his.

 

I told him it's my last flight, as I'm coming off the active.And as I always did on each day of tours...I thanked him for his help! He asked if I was working tomorrow, and I said yes, and he said he'll talk to me tomorrow then...and I said...OK...it's a DATE! I'm sure I made him laugh. He always treated me well, despite yelling at other pilots. But I also think it's the way I talk on the radio, always courteous, polite, and brief.

 

Asked a woman when she was due....ya...she had the kid 3 weeks before! DOH! I just kept saying outloud to them...I am so sorry, and I am such an ASS! Tell you what....lets try this again....and I reintroduced myself...and they laughed! NEVER did that again!

 

That same 7 months of tours, I flew Chris Paul and his wife....LA Clippers Chris Paul....I actually needed a few minutes to decompress, because I was that excited! Had to walk away for 5 minutes! Had a last minute booking for a night flight, 45 min. tour. Rich little kid, and his GF. Almost the enitre flight, they were looking down at their iPhones. I finally said...HEY...PUT THE PHONES DOWN, and ENJOY THE VIEW...which they did! :)

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Embarrassing? A little. Enjoyable? A lot!!

 

Back in '93 I had a female student in an R22. She was delightful, and had a huge set of.....lungs....which were usually on display.

 

The sequence that day was Unknown Landing Sites (or Confined Areas, whatever you want to call them), and I had set up an orbit to the right around the chosen site to start the PSWAT or WOSSATT or however your school runs the acronym. While explaining each word, it was often necessary to point to an feature, or a Way In, or a Turning Point, or some hazard. And each time I moved my right arm, I collided with those chest ornaments.

 

I got tired of saying "Oops! Sorry!" and she just laughed and said "They get in the way of everything! Don't worry about it."

 

I had to demonstrate that sequence to her about 78 times that day............

Edited by Eric Hunt
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The morning of my Pvt Pilot Stage check i arrived 1.5 hours early had breakfast & coffee and still had enough time due to proper planning to sit back and relax for a bit before proceeding with them mornings planning which started at 0700.

 

Everything went like clockwork and my evaluator being mezmorized decided it was time to fly. Just like the ground session the preflight and flight portions where flawless until the very last event..... the hover auto which i had rarely ever had any issues with.

 

Being almost completely back to the box and directly in front of the FBO which had everyone and their sisters eating outside on the balcony having lunch including an FAA evaluator my instructor decided to say ok lets setup for you hover auto.

 

Just like the hundred times before i pull to a nice stable hover into the wind and start the count 3, 2, 1 hover auto. What came next was the most bizare thing i have ever imagined. I rolled off the throttle but not into the detent and then applied to much right peddle. As the helicopter was spinning to the right and settling I promtly YANKED the collective! this was only compounded as i still did not have the throttle rolled to the dent which caused a very rapid turn.

 

My instructor immediately saved the situation annd then did something we both will never forget! He gave me a second chance, first mistake! the same process follow as the first hover auto and resulted in landing so hard the FAA guy inside the FBO said he could hear it as he was eating lunch and figured he would see if we where ok.

 

on the 2nd attempt we hit so hard it broke the crossbar on the back of the R22.

I failed and had to repeat the following day!

 

The following day the weather was horible winds 17g23 and i did 1 practice then informed my evaluator i was ready. the rest is history. i did 7 flawless hover autos that day and passed.

 

As the

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Lets just say I double check all the circut breakers before asking the mechanic to come out and fix the ignitors that aren't working right.

 

I mean, it wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't the one who had pulled it... or maybe it would have because then it would have meant I hadn't looked.

Edited by aclark79
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Guest pokey

i happen to have 2, take your pick:

 

1) was flying in low visibility to a non controlled airport that was about 8 miles from a controlled/radar equipped airport, about 3 miles out i told the controller that i had the field in sight and requested frequency change, which he approved.......less than a minute later? i realized i was about to land at HIS field !! i said "um tower? this is me again and i am the one just about to land at your airport with out clearance",,, he just laughed and gave me vector to my original destination.

 

2) i "recruited" a non A&P who i was teaching to fly fixed wing & lived on the airport to help me change out a cylinder on a Hughes 300,,,,, we struggled to get that thing on for about 1/2 hour & finally tamed the beast,,,, then? we went to hook up the exhaust and intake tube,,, we put the dam thing on UPSIDE down !! my 1st thought was "now htf are we gonna re-route the exhaust and intake to make this work"???

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During a long Cx flight a friend of mine and i detoured from Yosemite Valley to Merced (MCE) due to a power outage which they "never have " in southern CA....Anyway, when only 3 miles from Merced (MCE) we see a "Control Tower" we look at all of our chart and discover there is no tower on the charts... we begin flying donuts trying to reach tower without any luck. After about 15 minutes of doing everything we could do to reach tower we hear a voice on the radio....." Hey Helicopter! Are you lost?" it is a local Learjet which is on final to Merced! he stated that the tower was decomission in the 90's and the airport is all but deserted..... Then the one that killed us....he actually said, just follow my, i can show you where the airport is....

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During my second or third flight as an instrument instructor, my student was performing a series of "turns-to-headings", climbs, descents, and just general maneuvers to get used to to flying by instruments.

 

I had flown the same maneuvers in the same location many times times during my instrument training so I felt very comfortable having my student perform them.

 

We had departed KEIK and were headed KGXY (Greely Co.). Normally as you fly northeast you can climb to 8000 and set up for your approaches and usually we were on with Denver Approach to get vectors for our approaches.

 

This flight however though I decided to wait before contacting Denver until we were finished flying our maneuvers. We would have been fine if I had been paying attention as to where we were when I told my student to start do following the directions we had planned out.

 

During the last turn to the east and climb to 7500 I looked to the right side of the helicopter and noticed that DIA's runways looked especially close that day. I thought it was odd but there are days the the visibility was incredible along the front range. Then I looked back in front and to the left as we were making a left climbing turn. I noticed a rather large Airbus a lot closer to us than I had ever seen one get before. Then things clicked I looked down at my chart and at the GPS and realized we were in Class B airspace by two mile and 300' and climbing. Talk about a sinking feeling in your stomach.

 

Looking back after the flight I know the correct thing to do would have been to quickly get on with Denver Approach and make contact and apologize and get the heck out of their airspace! What I did was calmly give my student vectors to head straight north and descend rapidly.

 

Upon landing and shutdown back at EIK I saw someone from the FBO walking out to us, I knew what was coming but still hoped it was something different. He handed me a note and said I should call so-and-so from Denver TRACON. The guy was friendly enough and asked me a few questions about normal Class B operations. After I demonstrated I did in fact know the correct procedures and had had a brief lapse in judgment he just said "don't let it happen again".

 

All this made for a great post flight lesson with my student! Talk about humbling.

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Hope you took the time to have lunch at that BBQ place at MCE. It's pretty good

nope we where trying to make it a short stop. was headed due east across the sierra's. wanted to camp in the desert that night.

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During my second or third flight as an instrument instructor, my student was performing a series of "turns-to-headings", climbs, descents, and just general maneuvers to get used to to flying by instruments.

 

I had flown the same maneuvers in the same location many times times during my instrument training so I felt very comfortable having my student perform them.

 

We had departed KEIK and were headed KGXY (Greely Co.). Normally as you fly northeast you can climb to 8000 and set up for your approaches and usually we were on with Denver Approach to get vectors for our approaches.

 

This flight however though I decided to wait before contacting Denver until we were finished flying our maneuvers. We would have been fine if I had been paying attention as to where we were when I told my student to start do following the directions we had planned out.

 

During the last turn to the east and climb to 7500 I looked to the right side of the helicopter and noticed that DIA's runways looked especially close that day. I thought it was odd but there are days the the visibility was incredible along the front range. Then I looked back in front and to the left as we were making a left climbing turn. I noticed a rather large Airbus a lot closer to us than I had ever seen one get before. Then things clicked I looked down at my chart and at the GPS and realized we were in Class B airspace by two mile and 300' and climbing. Talk about a sinking feeling in your stomach.

 

Looking back after the flight I know the correct thing to do would have been to quickly get on with Denver Approach and make contact and apologize and get the heck out of their airspace! What I did was calmly give my student vectors to head straight north and descend rapidly.

 

Upon landing and shutdown back at EIK I saw someone from the FBO walking out to us, I knew what was coming but still hoped it was something different. He handed me a note and said I should call so-and-so from Denver TRACON. The guy was friendly enough and asked me a few questions about normal Class B operations. After I demonstrated I did in fact know the correct procedures and had had a brief lapse in judgment he just said "don't let it happen again".

 

All this made for a great post flight lesson with my student! Talk about humbling.

Wow, you were lucky. I know an airplane pilot that did something similar. His certificate was suspended and it later cost him an airline job when they found out about it during the hiring process.

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Wow, you were lucky. I know an airplane pilot that did something similar. His certificate was suspended and it later cost him an airline job when they found out about it during the hiring process.

 

The guys from TRACON said that if they had been landing planes from the north that day it would have been a lot more serious. I think it helped that when I realized it that I made obvious course corrections and rapidly descended to lose altitude.

 

Still it was embarrassing and could have been potentially dangerous for lots of people. I learned a lot!

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The guys I knew had set their DME to the wrong frequency thinking there were somewhere else. They were practicing holds in IMC, blissfully unaware ATC was having to divert airliners around them. The instructor learned a lot that day, too. The hard way.

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The guys I knew had set their DME to the wrong frequency thinking there were somewhere else. They were practicing holds in IMC, blissfully unaware ATC was having to divert airliners around them. The instructor learned a lot that day, too. The hard way.

There used to be an art to setting a navaid's frequency. It involved 2 steps. Tuning and identifying.

People still tune, but the identifying has become somewhat of a lost art.

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One good reason to carry a chart. :D

What's a "chart"?

 

Lemme think this one through now...

 

consider the city sized Mammoth airplane of the future... you can place 77 Triple 7's nose to tail in the hold...

and consider the professional air crew of the future (One Man and a Dog) (The Man is there to feed the Dawg, and the Dawg is there to BITE the man if he even DARES touch anything...)...

 

the chart will be used for... what?

 

Ah! Find the way to the bathroom, right...?

Edited by Francis Meyrick

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Well today I was laughing so hard I had trouble hovering and doing instrument checks. A ERAU Prescott plane Riddle 41 was saying something like "See how it shows us constantly broadcasting it's broken. We will have to call someone or something. This is such bullshit. Didn't get to fly yesterday or get to fly today.... Lots more rambling" They knew they had a hot mic and kept rambling on the ground freq and it was very amusing to listen to especially because I could see the controllers in the tower laughing after they said it was such bullshit. I think they just shut down while in the ramp because ground kept trying to get a hold of them and got no response. Have to say that it made my day today.

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i think the funniest day I have had flying was a similar "Hot Mike" experience. While also in training i was sitting on the ground preforming runup procedures and heard a very odd radio call...

 

 

"Bend Traffic Censna XXXX Short final, Full Stop B2........" "Bend Traffic Censna XXXX Will Exit Runway 34 @ B3....Come on stop please.....Correction B4......Comeon Baby please stop........B5......Thank you baby, Thank you..... Bend Traffic Censna XXXX Clear 34 @ B5"............

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