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What do your helicopter wives say at the breakfast table?


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So, what do your helicopter wives all say at the breakfast table?

 

Mine floors me, with the gentle word. All the time. The woman is wicked.

 

So I'm enjoying reading a book of buddhist poetry, called "The Clouds should know me by now" (Red Pine). Innocently, I remarked to wifey: "What a beautiful title for a book".

 

Instant reply (Scottish accent) " You should ken, 'cos your head is in them often enough".

 

Say, What!? :wacko:

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MIne?

 

Well this morning I made the mistake of telling her on the way out the door at 6:45, that I was looking forward to a slow weekend of relaxing and a hoppy beverage or two in the evening.

 

My beautiful wife "You should have plenty of time, and won't that cold beer taste good after mulching the beds and putting in the plants I am picking up this afternoon."

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I've been cheating on you for the last year while you have been on hitch. It's time for you to find your own place and I'm taking your dog.

 

More often then not...But add in, "And I've cleaned out the bank accounts".

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Fly safe and let me know when you are done, I love you...geez, am I in the minority here? :rolleyes:

 

But at least once a month she will ask..."have you flown enough to make the heli payment this month"? LOL ;)

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Will you stop at the market on your way home from work and get some eggs? Oh, im going out for drinks tonight so you're on your own for dinner. And the dryer is making a funny noise and the ABS light on the Volvo stays on all the time. And...

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I've been cheating on you for the last year while you have been on hitch. It's time for you to find your own place and I'm taking your dog.

 

AT least that was face-to-face.

First wife out and the kids at school when the marshal served the papers.

This is a tough life for those who don't get to go flying every day, I fault my ex- for the manner, not the fact. She did me a favor, I'm not smart enough to fold a losing hand.

 

Now, I have an understanding- I can fly helicopters as long as I want but I can't ride motorcycles. Someday I won't do either one and that will be all right by me, someday.

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What is a helicopter wife? ;)

 

Ah! DEFINITION: "A long-suffering, patient female, who merely sighs, shakes head sadly, and comforts the cat, after Normal Event"

 

Define "Normal Event". DEFINITION:

 

Day 1 OFF after 7 ON, and 50 plus flight hours.

Breakfast time. Peace on earth. Bleary eyed husband. Not with it. At all. Brain cells stuttering. (previously tried to microwave coffee cup by opening refrigerator; subsequently tried to put milk carton away in microwave) (seriously)

 

Helicopter sound is heard in distance, approaching steadily.

Helicopter husband behaves as follows:

 

says: "Oh, cool!"

spills coffee

knocks over chair

steps on cat

goes flying out back door to see

 

:) Sound familiar?

Edited by Francis Meyrick
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(I'm waiting for it, waiting for it)

 

(oh, no. No. Nooooo....)

 

Argh! :unsure:

 

Is some wise-ass gonna ask: "What is a helicopter husband?"

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