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"Are you a Bobble Head?"

:mellow:

It's a serious question - Are You?

If you fly helicopters for a living, you ought to be. Believe me. I am.

If you don't remember Bobble Heads, they were all the rage in the seventies'. Bobble Head Dogs, for some reason, were really popular. You had to have one in every car, or else your kids thought you were a total embarrassment to them. It's called being "square", and I guess parents were supposed to be round. So you would dutifully park one in the rear window. And there the Bobble Head dog, lying peacefully, would Bobble away, body at rest, head bobbling up and down. The kids would love it, for at least half a day, and then the Bobble head dog would just be left to Bobble away. Recently, an enterprising firm in California brought back the rage, with a Bobble Head doll that looked just like a certain prominent fund raiser. On the base of the Bobble head was inscribed a question:

Am I a very silly person?

And, you guessed, yes!-(bobble)-yes!-(bobble)-yes!
Boyed by their success, this enterprising Free Enterprise company brought out another one that looked just like a certain former Cheerleader, and a person famous uttering the words "I mis-spoke". Spitting image. On the base of the Cheerleader-cum-Miss-Speaker, the inscription read:

Do I have a frickin' CLUE?

And, you guessed it, NO!-(bobble)-NO!-(bobble)-NO!
These two products were wildly popular with the Public, but some very important lady in the Government called Lois wasn't amused, and she sent some emails, which she has since lost. The result was that the Tax Dogs were sent to bite the manufacturer very hard on the shins. It's not called "biting" actually, it's called "auditing", but it still involves lots of teeth, and snarling. And whimpering. These dogs "audited" the manufacturer, and then stuck them for a truly Bobble-heading Tax assessment. And that was the end of the Bobble Heads. Which was a pity really, because now they are collector's items, and nobody is going to leave them in the hot rear window of an automobile.

Anyway, Moggy you moron, you may ask, and what has that got to do with helicopters? Everything! Of course! Don't you see?
No…!
You see, a lot of Helicopter Pilots are Bobble Heads. Especially the older ones, like me. Just watch them, at certain times. Like starting up. As opposed to other helicopter pilots, mostly the newer ones, who don't bobble much at all. Here, let me explain the background to this unique rotary bobble head phenomenon.

 

Here is the link...

 

:ph34r:

Edited by Francis Meyrick
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I try to be a figure 8 head, but more in the form of a lazy 8. That is the most efficient and effective way to scan and keep your head and eyes moving. But to the untrained observer I might appear to be a bobblehead. I will have to ask my crew what they think.

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It's sort of like the saying in the fixed wing world about retractable gear planes..."there's those that have and those that will". I try my darndest not to be one of those that "have"

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It's sort of like the saying in the fixed wing world about retractable gear planes..."there's those that have and those that will". I try my darndest not to be one of those that "have"

It's very easy to land gear up (fixed wing), but hard to taxi. An almost identical but somewhat inverse situation applies to rotary...

 

3 in the breeze,

clear of the trees,

last hop,

full stop.

 

This reminds me of an incident that has been referred to as "Allison's Angels".

If someone reminds me I will be happy to relay that story.

 

As a final thought, if you land inverted with your gear extended, did you land gear up ?

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I see Rotorcraft Leasing insisting their pilots tie the FRONT blades down on their 206's.

 

One way to do it.

 

My personal preference is to only start single blade machines with blades nine o'clock and three o'clock...

 

:mellow:

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During shift I'll usually tie it to the front right skid that way I would actually have to step over the rope to get in. We store it parallel tied to the tail. When I drag it out for the night I'll change it. I came from flying the 500 where we never tied the blades..... Ever.

 

Heading to the helicopter in the dark for a call it would be way to easy for me to walk right past the tail because of muscle memory and not see it.

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Touché

Well, here's a point. If we took one blade off an R-22 or a 206, and just flew with t'other, (making it a single blade) we might reduce useful load, and have to put up with an interesting one-per, but think of the money we'd save on blade polish ..?

 

Just sayin'....?

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switching gears for a second...(crunch!...).... I just landed back from making the skies unsafe in a spare machine, 'cos maintenance said mine was broke. Fished out the 4 blade tie-down ropes (not a single blade), and I came across one of those things I just do not understand.

No Comprehendo. Verstehe nicht. Whatdaf@#K!!

 

Now, I'll admit, there are a great many important things I do not understand (e.g.women), but this is not the place. We're talking single blades here. Bobbleheads. Some previous pilot, far, far brighter than I, (doesn't take much) had neatly and painstakingly disabled all four red warning flags (what normally flutter gaily in the breeze, helping simple minds like me, basically saying "Yoo-hoo! MISTER PIE-LOT!!! YOUR BLADE IS TIED DOWN...!!", by the following method:

 

"tying the tie-down rope in a furious knot along the bottom (end) of the red flag/ribbon, thus preventing it from fluttering." (the red flag/pennant is thus stretched tight along the rope)

 

Ever seen that? I see it a LOT.

 

Now, WHY, pray, would you DO that? Why DIS-ABLE a warning system? What has that red flag ever done to so diabolically tick you off? I just don't get it.

 

(now, now, ladies, that's NOT what I meant).

 

I just don't understand why you would do that. So here I am, busting nails and fingers (and catching up on all my old Chinese cusswords) trying to untie those knots some Einstein has tied with all his strength in the rope, to prevent that damn flag fluttering. I like it to flutter. I'll take ALL the help I can get. I'm not proud.

 

I'll buy any wise soul a beer who can explain that to me, in words, preferably, of two syllables or less...

 

:unsure:

Edited by Francis Meyrick
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