Need help with my WOCS essay

[tony4]

l

[Eric Hunt]

I pity the people who have to read through 500 of these for each intake, after a while it would be officer goal combat leadership blah blah blahblahblah zzzzzzzzz.........

 

Not a bad effort, though - all your own work? How hard is it to come up with something original?

And by the way,

 

 

Society expects our military to be ran by an intelligent group of officers

they prefer it to be RUN by intelligent officers, who can use grammar checker.

[CharyouTree]

1) As alluded to, it's way too long.

2) You'd likely be better served in the military sub.

3) As I understand it, the intent of these essays is to determine YOUR writing and communication skills, not of your friends. I'd ask someone to proofread it for glaring spelling and grammar errors, but stay away from "content". i.e. Write your essay, and get it looked at just prior to saying "it's done", not throughout the process.

 

Good luck.

Edited August 4, 2016 by CharyouTree

[Tom22]

I don’t know how long these essays are supposed to be but:

 

Does the military allow candidates to organize each idea in their essay with headings? If they do then I would use headings for a sound organization structure. For example, each heading is a subtopic with supporting premises facilitating your argument. Then you can shore up your essay with a strong conclusion of why you want to be a military officer.