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Critiques requested for CGO letter of recommendation


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I'm hoping some of you experienced CWOs would do me a favor and take a look at the LoR my CGO just sent me. For a little background, I'm an AF E-6, and a heavys maintainer. This is the first LoR my OIC has written for the Army. Any input would be appreciated. See content below, and thank you in advance.

 

am pleased to highly recommend to the board TSgt Jacob XXXXXX for an Army Warrant Officer slot in the position of Rotary Wing Aviator.

 

TSgt Jacob XXXXXX exemplifies all aspects of what it means to be an Airman! The Air Force Core Values of integrity first, service before self, and excellence in all he does define his personal character and system of values. He has proven this to me repeatedly and earned himself a reputation as one of the 62d Aircraft Maintenance Squadron's most trusted, technically proficient crew chiefs maintaining McChord Field's fleet of 48 C-17 aircraft. You will clearly see this as you review his long list of awards and accolades accumulated over his Air Force career. Recently, he has stepped out of his primary career field be the Squadron's Safety Officer for over 700 personnel. In addition, he proved invaluable in administering the Commander's Inspection Program and leading the Squadron's FOD prevention program.

 

TSgt XXXXXX displays an unrelenting ability to step outside his comfort zone and succeed. His superior level of competency rises far beyond his peers and has solidified my trust in him on countless occasions. Jake has a consistent track record of rising to the occasion, and I have no doubt that he will make an invaluable asset to any organization. It is with great pride that I recommend him for your program. Although it will be at a loss to the Air Force, he deserves this opportunity to become a Warrant Officer and is an ideal candidate for the aviation career field. He will undoubtedly surpass your expectations!

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Your OIC wrote you a C+ LOR, several grammar and format errors. I'm not evaluating her, but at a glance it makes her recommendation less credible.

 

I'm looking for examples of demonstrated leadership potential, aeronautical/mechanical aptitude, and quantifiable points as to why I should rank your application ahead of your peers.

 

Mike-

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This sentence kind of sums it up: "You will clearly see this as you review his long list of awards and accolades accumulated over his Air Force career." If your recommender is admitting she's not saying anything that you couldn't "clearly see" by looking at your personnel file, what value does the LoR add? A good LoR provides information that goes beyond restating your job titles. The flowery language is mostly ignored unless it's backed up with specific examples showing why you're more trusted/more competent/more whatever than your peers. You can help by submitting a specific list of your accomplishments that you think illustrate those things if you want to ask for a rewrite. You could also just submit it as is. It doesn't add anything to your packet but it's unlikely to detract from it, and given current selection rates you may feel it's more important to submit any qualified application ASAP. Or if your commander is the type that doesn't handle criticism well it may not be worth damaging your relationship with her to get a better LoR.

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J4,

 

Rewrite it yourself using an accepted LoR format. if you don't know what that looks like, blow up Google. I can't stress enough how important grammar, punctuation and correct formatting is, and how it directly reflects on your overall score. If you submit a poorly written LoR, I have to make some assumptions; 1. The writer doesn't think highly enough of you to put forth his/her best effort on your behalf, 2. The writer probably isn't well respected, so his/her LoR doesn't hold much credit. Or 3. You didn't proof read the LoR to know whether it was done correctly or not.

 

I don't know a single officer who doesn't appreciate a proactive candidate writing a sample LoR for them to use as a base product, rather than having to write one for you from scratch, especially if they don't know you well. I also appreciate someone catching typos I didn't before I send trash forward with my signature on it.

 

Mike-

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