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Why I want to be an aviator paper

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Good evening all, I am currently in the process of creating my WOCS packet. I have passed my ASVAB and SIFT; I have my LORs', prior service info, my short BIO, and my civilian resume. I have just finished writing my "Why I want to be an aviator" paper and would like someone with experience to critique it. If you are interested in helping me, please send me a message stating so, and I will send you my paper. Any professional advice or constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you in advance.

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