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Hey everyone,

Lurked here for a while and soaked up some solid advice about the WOFT essay.  The consensus seems to be to highlight as many professional/technical achievements as possible and forgo the "I've wanted to fly since I was 1 and helos are cool" dialogue.  So, there's none of that in my essay.  My motivation comes from years of supporting aviation/UAV development as a civilian.  As I read through my essay I feel like some of the leadership aspects are inferred through my experience, but not explicitly stated.  Anyone have advice if what I have right now comes across in the right tone?  Any input at all is appreciated. Thanks.

 

 

WIWTBAAA.pdf

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This is the first essay I have read and reviewed so take what I have to say with a grain of salt. 
 

You have a very strong resume, you have a lot of really good experience. But that’s just it, your essay reads like a resume. To me it seemed like there were only two sentences in the whole thing that talks about your future with the Army. You’ve done a great job highlighting the intelligence side of things; after reading that I am 100% convinced you posses the intellect (and then some) to get through flight school, but there isn’t anything on the motivation to go through flight school.  At the end you say you posses the motivation but I don’t see it reflected in the essay.  Since this is a WHY I want to be an army aviator essay, I would try to talk about the why a little more, and how that can benefit the Army and Warrant Officers.

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2 hours ago, jkray said:

This is the first essay I have read and reviewed so take what I have to say with a grain of salt. 
 

You have a very strong resume, you have a lot of really good experience. But that’s just it, your essay reads like a resume. To me it seemed like there were only two sentences in the whole thing that talks about your future with the Army. You’ve done a great job highlighting the intelligence side of things; after reading that I am 100% convinced you posses the intellect (and then some) to get through flight school, but there isn’t anything on the motivation to go through flight school.  At the end you say you posses the motivation but I don’t see it reflected in the essay.  Since this is a WHY I want to be an army aviator essay, I would try to talk about the why a little more, and how that can benefit the Army and Warrant Officers.

 

Thank you very much for the input, it is much appreciated.  I will work on revising the essay.

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