WOFT Essay advice/rating

[DonST]

To explain below I am a high schooler working on my WOFT packet and just wanted some critiquing on my essay as I believe it can definitely be improved, but im just not sure how.


Becoming an Army Aviator is an opportunity as well as a challenge I am prepared to take head-on. Coming from a background of Navy and Airforce aviators, I have been growing up in awe of military aviation. However, the Army WOFT program provides a unique opportunity for anyone to sit in the cockpit and take on aviation. The Army’s opportunity to fly the most advanced helicopters in the world combined with their unique take on leadership, skills, integrity, and impact resonates with my core values more than any other branch. I believe becoming an Army Warrant Officer is the correct path for me to take in the world of aviation and military service.

 

As a nationally and state certified EMT, I have learned invaluable lessons when making hard, quick, and decisive decisions under moments of extreme pressure. The back of an ambulance during the treatment of a patient in critical condition leaves no time for hesitation and requires strong leadership in chaotic environments. On several occasions I have had to step up in the heat of the moment to save a patient's life. After a young girl and her grandma got into a serious T-bone accident our resources were strained. While the paramedics worked on an IV, I took the initiative to stabilize the patient, administer oxygen, and assess for physical damage. During this I was the only one to take leadership of the situation and redirect the paramedics’ attention to the distressed patient for immediate care. I believe my EMT experience translates perfectly into the skills and knowledge required in becoming an Army Aviator.

 

From my experience as an EMT, holding a job and doing well in high school has only reinforced my ability to multi-task, manage time and perform well under pressure, an essential for Army Aviation. High-stress situations are where I thrive; I am eager to apply my leadership, decision-making skills, and adaptability to the challenge of becoming a Warrant Officer Army Aviator.