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tales from the cockpit


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i forgot about this until today when i was sharing stories with my recruiter.. well i was getting a commercial add on ready for his checkride and the student was not doing so well with his 180s so i decided we should perform some together. the student was high time, 10,000 plus hours of ag and would get a little on edge when other aircraft were in the vacinity. now amidst our 180 the student started to freak out to say the least because an aircraft was using the runway and we were using the taxiway. we were in communication with one another and were not in any conflicting positions with eachother, but my student who accidentally keyed the transmit button went on to say .. holy f-ing s-it! your gonna f-king kill us! mother f-ker! this a-holes are gonna kill us.. by this time i coulndnt help it, i was laughing way to hard and was trying to tell him he was hitting transmit while i took control of the aircraft, so hes looking over at me ang going mother f-er! whats so god d-mn funny ?! so when i did the power recovery and set it down and rolled the throttle was the only time that i could calm down enough to tell him that he still had his thumb over the transmit button. his only reaction was.. whoops, theyll get over it. luckily we were in a class g with minimal aircraft in the area.. just writing this made me laugh almost as hard. :D

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I was working on my commercial flying with my CFI, summertime, no doors in a R-22. He unclicked my seatbelt, and pushed!!! I panic, let go of the cyclic, and grab the door jam with my righthand, in the meantime, he's got the controls, and laughing is A## off. He said, glad you can react well to pressure. I told him, I'd never had anyone give me a push like that! Definately a pucker factor! BUT....oh how sweet the revenge can BE.....same flight head'n back.....I noted, that there were a lot of pools in the area. I said you could jump out into a pool, maybe get a 9.8! So for some reason, he turns away from me, and has a leg out of the helicopter, I have now unclicked is seatbelt, it's just waiving in the wind!! He looks back, and see's this, his eye's go BUG EYE'D, and literally jumped back in the helicopter....now I'm laughing my A$$ off.......he says "OK Dude....we're EVEN"......he never did anyting like that again!

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I was working on my commercial flying with my CFI, summertime, no doors in a R-22. He unclicked my seatbelt, and pushed!!! I panic, let go of the cyclic, and grab the door jam with my righthand, in the meantime, he's got the controls, and laughing is A## off. He said, glad you can react well to pressure. I told him, I'd never had anyone give me a push like that! Definately a pucker factor! BUT....oh how sweet the revenge can BE.....same flight head'n back.....I noted, that there were a lot of pools in the area. I said you could jump out into a pool, maybe get a 9.8! So for some reason, he turns away from me, and has a leg out of the helicopter, I have now unclicked is seatbelt, it's just waiving in the wind!! He looks back, and see's this, his eye's go BUG EYE'D, and literally jumped back in the helicopter....now I'm laughing my A$$ off.......he says "OK Dude....we're EVEN"......he never did anyting like that again!

 

I see nothing funny about something that was done in jest that could have ended with someone losing their life. It wouldn't have looked very funny in the accident report and you would have felt really foolish when the FAA asked for your license so that they could hold it for all eternity. Not to mention the greiving relatives and the lawyers eager to crawl up your backside with a lawsuit that you would be paying for until the day you die. Nothing wrong with having fun, but if you want to be treated (and paid) like a professional, then you need to act like a professional. If I had tried a stunt like that when I was in the military, I would have been removed from flying status and probably court martialed.

 

Please PM me with your name and your CFI's name, so that if I ever see your, or his, resume come across my desk I can send it straight to the shredder.

 

Doug

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I was working on my commercial flying with my CFI, summertime, no doors in a R-22. He unclicked my seatbelt, and pushed!!! I panic, let go of the cyclic, and grab the door jam with my righthand, in the meantime, he's got the controls, and laughing is A## off. He said, glad you can react well to pressure. I told him, I'd never had anyone give me a push like that! Definately a pucker factor! BUT....oh how sweet the revenge can BE.....same flight head'n back.....I noted, that there were a lot of pools in the area. I said you could jump out into a pool, maybe get a 9.8! So for some reason, he turns away from me, and has a leg out of the helicopter, I have now unclicked is seatbelt, it's just waiving in the wind!! He looks back, and see's this, his eye's go BUG EYE'D, and literally jumped back in the helicopter....now I'm laughing my A$$ off.......he says "OK Dude....we're EVEN"......he never did anyting like that again!

 

Rotor91,

 

I don't want to affend you in anyway the only reason that I am writting you is after hearing what your instuctor did to you I am conserned about your safety as well as others.

 

What your instructor did is extemely dangerous as well as illegal. There are some many things that could have gone wrong in that short instant that could have resulted in fatalities. I can promiss you that if the FAA where to find out who he is there would be an investigation into the matter possibly resulting in perminate suspention of his certificate and licence.

 

Essentially, what you instructor has done is teach you that this type of behavior in an aircraft is exceptable. Ex. you got even. This behavior most certainly is not acceptable.

 

My biggest consern is if your instructor has taught you something so funamentally wrong what else has he taught you wrong. There is so much more to learn than how to fly the aircraft. There is no way for you to know if he is teach you bad habits or not, you're the student you have to trust that he knows what he is doing.

 

I would strongly recomend finding another instructor. At least ask around to find out for yourself if there is any truth to what I'm saying.

 

Please, Please give what I'm saying consideration. Ask any proffesional helicopter pilot and they will agree.

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Guest pokey

YIKES !! @ pushed out of helicopter ! ( reminds me of the time when we were kids & almost got hit by a train) ---'nother time for THAT story tho :o here is the funny one from the cockpit:

 

I helped a friend of mine get his old 269A "up to speed" over the years,,,, The thing was a bear to start at times ( especially when hot),,,,, one day we were checking the shower of sparks ( system in magneto used for ease of starting the engine). I was underneath the ship, with the power DIS-connected to the starter motor ( so the engine would NOT crank), checking for spark to one of the plugs ( standard trouble-shooting procedure for this type of system), while Bob was "supposed to be hitting the starter button" so i could check the system for spark. After i heard him clicking the button a few times & no spark @ the plug, my reaction was,,,,,,,: "hmmmmm, this thing shuddah blown the starter motor off the crankcase from kick-back IF this system isnt operational at ALL" :o

 

THEN it hit me ?! ( this is "Bob" we are dealing with !) a helluva nice guy, has a CFii in airplanes and a private helicopter license from long ago--but? legal and current to fly helicopters. :unsure:

 

so i quietly slide out from under ship, meanwhile asking Bob to continue hitting the starter button,,,i stand up, looking in at Bob from left side of ship ( he's in the right seat) and i ask him "bob, who ya trying to talk to?" He replies, "well i'm talking to YOU, of korse !" :lol:

 

IF yer readin' this Bob? PUSH the rite button next time !! :lol: :lol:

 

 

He was hitting the intercom/radio button on top of the cyclic, instead of the starter button on the end of the collective,,,,,,,, We called it a day & had a few beers & "talked" about "things" :rolleyes:

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I was working on my commercial flying with my CFI, summertime, no doors in a R-22. He unclicked my seatbelt, and pushed!!! I panic, let go of the cyclic, and grab the door jam with my righthand, in the meantime, he's got the controls, and laughing is A## off. He said, glad you can react well to pressure. I told him, I'd never had anyone give me a push like that! Definately a pucker factor! BUT....oh how sweet the revenge can BE.....same flight head'n back.....I noted, that there were a lot of pools in the area. I said you could jump out into a pool, maybe get a 9.8! So for some reason, he turns away from me, and has a leg out of the helicopter, I have now unclicked is seatbelt, it's just waiving in the wind!! He looks back, and see's this, his eye's go BUG EYE'D, and literally jumped back in the helicopter....now I'm laughing my A$$ off.......he says "OK Dude....we're EVEN"......he never did anyting like that again!

 

That's the scariest thing I have ever read on many levels. If you think it was just a harmless joke, you don't belong in aviation and neither does your CFI. I kept waiting for the punchline.

 

 

My CFI found the checklist on top of the A/C one day where I had left it while doing the preflight. We're buckled in about to crank and I start searching the seat-pocket for it so I can go through the 'before starting' procedures. He pulls it out from under his leg. "Looking for this?" he says. I realized where I left it and hung my head in shame. I was quick enough to reply with "did you get the dispatch sheet?" which I noticed he did not have. He turned red and smiled, "sonofab..." he muttered and we called a truce.

 

Here's another one I heard while in the Army. It's probably an urban legend but I'll tell it anyway.

There was a warrant officer who was a real jerk and he was always ordering the enlisted men around, making them do pushups, dressing them down because their uniform was wrinkled or their boots weren't shined, etc. Finally, he pushed his crew chief too far. He goes to start the helicopter and the crew chief is manning the fire bottle. Just as the blades get turning about 50% of idle, the crew chief rolls a spare Jesus nut across the ramp in front of the chin bubble. The pilot slapped the emergency fuel cutoff, bailed out and took off running!

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That incident was 16 years ago, and YES.......he(call him Dave), was not thinking, and at the time nor was I. Harmless humor? Not really. I did tell Dave, that wasn't right, and to not do that ever again, and he did appologize. He actually stopped flying because of an incident of loosing tail rotor authority, doing ENG. In his defense, he was a good instructor. He actually told me, he has no idea WHY he did what he did. I know I would never put ME, my passengers, or my students in harms way. I'm the guy on the ramp with the checklist in my mouth, double and triple checking my preflight. I always go that extra mile, to ensure that whoever is next to me, feels safe. My Dad, who is afraid of being on a step stool(clausterphobic), went up with me for about 15 min.. He was completely calm, and actually enjoyed it. That was my proudest moment.....in my flying career to date! And the seatbelt thing, was my lowest! I could not comprehend doing something like EVER again!

 

Have you seen that PUMA video of the French Army? They're flying 5 feet or less of the ground! Amazing video to watch, careless? You Betcha! When you do something careless, it'll bite you in the A$$.

 

Rob

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Guest pokey

16 years ago? that aint nuttin' !!! ,,,,,we almost got hit by the train back in 1970 !

 

,,,funny how stories get funnier the longer ya live to tell about them, did i tell ya 'bout the time,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :lol:

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91

 

I'm glad to hear that you've had a long and healthy career. By the tone of your first post, I thought it happened yesterday and that you weren't bothered by it. I've seen some stupid things done too and I've even been involved in a few. I'm glad I got away with it once but I've added it to the list of things I'll never do again. If I catch myself thinking, "Damn, that was dumb. I could have been killed!" It goes on the list.

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Lockedcj7

 

Your probably right, I did appear like it happened the other day, which it did not! It was a LONG time ago. Thanks for the understanding of "Chalk one up for experience"! I am older, somewhat wiser(ask the wife), and just a cautious person, I'm not the daredevil I was in my early 20's! I like adventure, but I'm also a safety first kinda guy too. Ya, done some stupid stuff, and I too, have said....Well, that was dumb, let's not do that again, ay!! Live by experience!

 

Rob

 

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the pivilege"

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