Jump to content

Yet another Essay review

Recommended Posts

Hi, I'm currently putting together my packet for the WOFT program and I needed some second opinions on my essay portion.


I'm primarily concerned about my second paragraph, but a overall look and critique on the essay would make me more than grateful to you for taking your time to break it apart.


Please be as honest as you can


Andrew Mueller




Why I want to be an army aviator. 


I have wanted to serve in the military since my adolescence. I come from a family rich with military service, and I have come to admire the camaraderie, loyalty, and sense of purpose that accompanies a military career. To be able to serve my country and contribute to an organization as fine as the US Army as an aviator and leader would not only be an honor, but build on my strengths and experiences.



The American doctrine of tactical Air Superiority has always been a significant interest throughout my youth. Specifically, the freedom that accompanies rotary wing aviation and the challenge of being an aviator has always appealed to me. From going to airshows and inspecting Apache helicopters in person, to hearing stories of my Father who served as a SMSgt in the U.S airforce, I have decided to settle on no less than to fulfil the U.S mission of air dominance from the cockpit of a rotary wing airframe. 


Being a Warrant Officer appeals to me because it provides the opportunity to refine my leadership skills and test them by setting the best example for my men. The position allows me to challenge myself to become part of the prestigious three percent of technical and tactical experts of my field. Being a slight perfectionist, mastering the criteria of my career is what I strive for. Though I have only had limited exposure to warrant officers, their willingness to help prospective candidates is inspiring towards following that path





Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Ewoski said:

I don’t know much about the civilian selection process, but what is the length requirement for the essay? It seems a bit short.

You could absolutely be correct in stating that it's too short for what It needs to be, but as it seems most of the websites that provide the information on the proper length, formatting et. are either shut down or pushed to the back of the google search results. But compared to what I've seen on other civilians doing the same thing I am, it's right on par with what it needs to be. But I'll be sure to look into it more, thank you.

12 hours ago, Ewoski said:

other than that, it appears well written.

I appreciate that, thanks!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mine was very short and to the point also. Something suggested to me by a current WO was to research the actual qualities and values of a Warrant Officer and include some of that verbiage in there which I did. I was accepted with a relatively short essay so I don't think it is necessary to fluff it up with anything not relevant.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...