Spouse/significant others reactions to WOFT

[nightmare515]

Oh and not to derail the topic again...but I'm seeing a few people getting a bit heated about the firefight thing.

 

If you LIKE being in a firefight then there is something seriously wrong with you. I don't think any of us who have experienced that can say we LIKED it. There is a difference between enjoying your job and doing your duty as a soldier when the time comes. But if can sit on the couch and say you LIKED being in a firefight then you either 1) Have never actually been in one (its not as fun as hollywood and video games make it seem) or 2 ) You literally have mental issues and you need help.

[SBuzzkill]

The bottom line is that the spouse or significant other is going to have to sacrifice, that's just the way it is.

 

Plenty of people here at Rucker come here by themselves and leave their spouses, gfs, bfs, and families behind. They don't do it to be selfish they do it because this place is going to require more focus and dedication than most people have ever experienced in their lives. I've seen countless people who came here with their familes or significant others and sent them home after they realized how this place was. Many of those who keep their families here have an in law or something here to help out with the family. You just flat out wont have time. Your significant other HAS to understand that 100% or the relationship is probably going to fail. I've seen it time and time again, as has everyone else who is here.

 

You get briefed time and time again here and FRG gets briefed the same thing. You are in flight school, it is very time consuming, you don't have time to be a family man while you are here. Some significant others just can't deal with that type of lifestyle, which is understandable.

 

Flight school is one of those things that unfortunately HAS to be all about YOU. Your family has to understand that.

 

If you have a significant other that you know is very emotional or needs a lot of attention then save both of yourselves the headache and end it before you get here.

 

Like he said ^^^^ Thats why the divorce rate, breakup rate, etc here is staggering. You have no choice but to be "selfish" while you're here.

 

Ehh, I'd say this is a bit extreme. I had plenty of time with my wife in flight school. There were moments where we were busy but other than SERE school there was not a time I can think of where I wasn't able to spend time with her every day. The time commitment is pretty similar to going to college and working at the same time. It can be rough but not impossible...

 

I also didn't know a single person to get divorced because of flight school. I can think of lots of people who strengthened their relationships while there. Maybe it's cyclical or something.

 

I'm not trying to be "that guy" who is here to disagree. But I think the doom and gloom is undeserved. Flight school is not THAT hard.

Edited January 25, 2014 by SBuzzkill

[Jester2138]

I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to talk about how one feels about combat in this thread (as long as we're all respectful). It's important and something you're probably going to have to express to those you love at some point, and this thread is about significant others. They're going to wonder, whether or not they talk about it to you.

I've never been in combat, or even close. But I've been in dangerous situations, had to think fast/work hard to get out, and come home safe but feeling more alive than ever. I wonder if combat is basically the same thing. It's not that I enjoyed my life being threatened, it's that I enjoyed overcoming the obstacle. I wouldn't want to do it again, but I'd be willing to for the right reason. That's a big difference.

 

I've never had to deal with friends getting injured/killed, though.

 

On a lighter note, I'm a single civilian WOFT hopeful. Does dating happen at Ft. Rucker, and what's it like?

[nightmare515]

 

Ehh, I'd say this is a bit extreme. I had plenty of time with my wife in flight school. There were moments where we were busy but other than SERE school there was not a time I can think of where I wasn't able to spend time with her every day. The time commitment is pretty similar to going to college and working at the same time. It can be rough but not impossible...

 

I also didn't know a single person to get divorced because of flight school. I can think of lots of people who strengthened their relationships while there. Maybe it's cyclical or something.

 

I'm not trying to be "that guy" who is here to disagree. But I think the doom and gloom is undeserved. Flight school is not THAT hard.

 

I don't know maybe I am painting it as worse than it really is. I'm sure my sentiments stem from having a gf who required more attention than I could give her and it drove me crazy trying to make it all work. Much of what I say does come from having a bit of a chip on my shoulder I guess.

 

I personally know quite a few people who have gotten divorces since I got here, and I know many more who lost their significant others. Maybe it is cyclical.

 

I just know for me personally if I had to do it all over again I would have been single when coming through here. It was just so much easier that way. But then again I had someone who "thought" they could be supportive and understanding but turned out to be anything but. I got the whole "your job is more important than me" speech.

 

But I am sure being in this environment could strengthen a relationship. It will create a strong bond thats for sure.

 

Didn't mean to paint a doom and gloom picture.

[brackac]

If you really want to fly helicopters, just say goodbye to her now and save both of you a lot of grief.

 

Three marriages seems the norm for helicopter pilots. The separations have something to do with it.

 

 

 

 

Not really true. In my old battalion there are 9 pilots who have been married 10+ years, with 5 of us being over 16 years of marriage.

[brackac]

 

 

On a lighter note, I'm a single civilian WOFT hopeful. Does dating happen at Ft. Rucker, and what's it like?

 

 

Shoot me a PM and I will send you your "Rucker Rat" hunting license.

[Velocity173]

Dating? There's no dating in flight school. You lock yourself in a room and study 5 & 9 only stopping to use the restroom...or do what I did and wear a diaper.

[Rob1237051]

Dating is covered in Task 3001.1 of the FTG. Standard is 100 lbs + or - 20 lbs. Deviating will result in an unsatisfactory.

[d10]

On a lighter note, I'm a single civilian WOFT hopeful. Does dating happen at Ft. Rucker, and what's it like?

 

Try to grab one of the hot, young female LTs before she's swarmed by the rest of the class. If that fails, enjoy meeting the same few girls at Oscar's every Wednesday.

[brackac]

 

Try to grab one of the hot, young female LTs before she's swarmed by the rest of the class. If that fails, enjoy meeting the same few girls at Oscar's every Wednesday.

 

 

Oscar's; what a dump. I went there once. Once. From the second I walked in to the second I left, all I heard was "Hey, I'm a pilot" followed by "Well, I'm a SP/IP/IE/MTP/Douche". I hate that place.

[Jester2138]

 

Try to grab one of the hot, young female LTs before she's swarmed by the rest of the class. If that fails, enjoy meeting the same few girls at Oscar's every Wednesday.

 

So in other words, exactly like my college right now

 

Yes I know, not really.

[nightmare515]

 

 

Oscar's; what a dump. I went there once. Once. From the second I walked in to the second I left, all I heard was "Hey, I'm a pilot" followed by "Well, I'm a SP/IP/IE/MTP/Douche". I hate that place.

Yeah Oscars sucks pretty bad. It's just funny because the new guys don't realize that EVERYBODY here is a pilot so trying to use the "hey Im a pilot" thing doesn't work here. Nobody here thinks you're "cool". .

 

You can literally sit in at a table in there are enjoy your entire night just watching people try and impress women. One time I literally heard some kid telling this girl about how he got his leg broken in SERE (no they don't do that to you) but he bandaged it up with a stick and vines and finished because "only (kitty cats) quit". I'm just like wow really guy...

 

Oh and apparently students now fly by themselves all alone in Primary and during one of his "combat approaches" the engine blew up and a kid had to wrestle it down to the ground and was given an air medal by the commander for heroism lol

 

Oh Oscars...the greatest source of entertainment during flight school.

[brackac]

 

 

You can literally sit in at a table in there are enjoy your entire night just watching people try and impress women.

 

 

The funniest part is that a lot of those women have fathers who are CW6 IP/SP/IE/MTP/GOD.

[Lastshot]

Jeff - I can relate to life's circumstances pulling you in a different direction. Hopefully your g/f will come around and support your decision.

 

I have a friend who is 31 and too old to pursue a pilot slot in any of the other branches. He's passionate about being a military pilot (he's currently a civ. flight instructor), but yet, he's getting cold feet about the Army. It's not that he's against it; he's just not sure he'd be a good fit as a "gun guy" and "soldier". Have any of you been around Army pilots who weren't crazy about Army life, but joined anyway because it was the only branch where they could become an aviator?

[skyreaper]

The app process seems to do a pretty good job of weeding out those who are just entertaining the idea. My .02 is that a person should know with a high degree of certainty that this is or is not for them. No excuse not to. Every Army pilot ive talked to says they either love it or miss it and would do it again.

[RendezvousWithDestiny]

Wow. I confess I have not read all the SOB stories in this thread. I am an active duty commissioned officer married to a "warrant officer candidate." I have first hand experienced all the "spouse stuff" as I was the FRG liaison. I used to respect warrant officers as "professionals." Based on my spouse's experiences in WOCS, I have lost respect for warrant officers. The Army is downsizing and commanders are chaptering warrant officers for their unprofessional behaviors.

 

I have only worked with one warrant that I respected, my previous PBO who worked very diligently with me to fix my property book and together we saved the Army a lot of money.

 

The Army takes a very high toll on the military family, if you (and your spouse) are not cut out for it you may not have an opportunity to stay in the Army.

 

My spouse first enlisted in 1999, we were married in 2003, and I enlisted in 2006. The entire time has tested us in multiple ways. I love and support my spouse, I just disagree with the "training process." Leaders in today's Army need to be able to think critically and creatively. To do more with less.

[RendezvousWithDestiny]

.

[StockTrader]

Since the thread was brought back to the top, figured i'd add in an update. We had the talk, i told her im still pursuing this, we parted ways. Guess it wasnt meant to be with me and her.

[Talon64]

Since the thread was brought back to the top, figured i'd add in an update. We had the talk, i told her im still pursuing this, we parted ways. Guess it wasnt meant to be with me and her.

Heck yes! Congratulations! Now get in there and get accepted.

[Rob1237051]

I once had a bad company commander. I don't think all captains are useless.

 

Edit: It also seems a little hypocritical to blast civilians for gathering information on an army career, while simultaneously venting your husband's complaints.

 

WOCS seems geared more towards the tech warrants...It's just a few weeks candidates have to endure until some commissioned officer calls for them to change the curriculum.

[skyreaper]

Since the thread was brought back to the top, figured i'd add in an update. We had the talk, i told her im still pursuing this, we parted ways. Guess it wasnt meant to be with me and her.

Better now than later!

[StockTrader]

Better now than later!

 

Exactly. Time to keep on trucking forward.

[Drage102]

Good job on your decision Jeff.

 

Going to be interesting when I break the news to mine. Shes very...very attachment heavy.

[Jon B.]

Wow. I confess I have not read all the SOB stories in this thread. I am an active duty commissioned officer married to a "warrant officer candidate." I have first hand experienced all the "spouse stuff" as I was the FRG leader. I used to respect warrant officers as "professionals." Based on my spouse's experiences in WOCS, I will never have respect for warrant officers ever again. The Army is downsizing and commanders are chaptering warrant officers for their unprofessional behaviors.

 

Be a professional and encourage your fellow warrant officers to act as professionals. It is not easy to be a leader in today's Army. Only the strong survive these harsh cuts.

 

The Army takes a very high toll on the military family, if you (and your spouse) are not cut out for it you will be eliminated in the downsizing Army.

 

Have fun not respecting your husband, you know, since he's going to become what you admit to having no respect for any longer. I bet that'll work out well.

 

Also, nobody cares who you are on the internet. You must like drama-filled facebook pages too.

 

Back on topic...

[apacheguy]

Rendezvouswithdestiny needs to go rendezvous with some Zoloft...

 

Your posts are confusing, illogical and rage filled. Stop trying to act like you represent the RLO corps, you don't. That's based on my 19 years of commissioned service. Go get ready for Air Assault school or something and leave the aviation forums to the pilots.